Question: My wife/girlfriend/whoever only orgasms with clitoral stimulation, not through intercourse, am I doing something wrong or is something wrong with her?
Answer: I cannot believe this appalling myth persists. Not only is it untrue, it’s harmful, and it does a great disservice to the potential sex you could be having. There is nothing wrong with you and there is nothing wrong with your partner. According to most studies, around 70% of women do not and will not reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse or vagina-only stimulation. For all of you struggling with statistics out there, allow me to break this down for you: a woman being able to climax through vaginal intercourse only is abnormal. That is to say, not normal. Rare. Shocking even. Anatomically speaking, this makes perfect sense. The vagina, which by the by, doubles as a birth canal from to time, doesn’t have a tremendous amount of nerve endings for obvious reasons. Child birth is already sadistic enough, wouldn’t you say?
Now, with this anatomical and statistical knowledge, why is it that every time this anomaly doesn’t happen, we take it as a personal assault on our own or our partner’s abilities? Such expectations are both irrational and, in the end, detrimental to your relationship. The point is, as far as I know, for both partners to enjoy sex and at some point reach climax. The means with which one uses to reach said climax is a moot point.
Enter the clitoris. As the female equivalent of the male penis, the clitoris is your go to spot for guaranteed female orgasm (pun intended). A combined regiment of manual and oral stimulation will be just what the doctor ordered. So take your time, pay attention to what really works, and stop worrying about what’s “supposed” to happen. Sex is about enjoying one another, and everyone is different. What does work for one woman won’t necessarily work for another, which isn’t a bad thing. As they say, practice makes perfect! Enjoy the learning process!
